Personal Bill of Rights

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  1. I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival.
  2. I have a right to discover and know my own child within me.
  3. I have a right to grieve over what I didn’t get that I needed or what I got that I did not want or need.
  4. I have a right to follow my own values and standards.
  5. I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system, as appropriate.
  6. I have a right to say “no” to anything if I am not ready, if it feels unsafe, or if it violates my boundaries and my values. In other words, I have a right to boundaries.
  7. I have a right to dignity and respect.
  8. I have a right to make decisions.
  9. I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities.
  10. I have a right to have my own needs and wants respected by others.  That does not mean you have a right to everything you want, but that you have a right to be treated in a decent fashion.
  11. I have a right to terminate conversations with anyone who makes me feel put down or humiliated.
  12. I have a right not to be responsible for other people’s actions, behaviors, feelings or problems.
  13. I have a right to make mistakes and not be perfect.
  14. I have a right to expect honesty from others.
  15. I have a right to my feelings, all of them. Feelings are neutral.
  16. I have a right to be angry at someone who I love.
  17. I have a right to be uniquely me without feeling not good enough.
  18. I have a right to feel scared and say I am afraid.
  19. I have a right to experience then let go of fear, guilt and shame.
  20. I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgment or anything I want.
  21. I have a right to change my mind at any time.
  22. I have a right to be happy.
  23. I have a right to stability, roots and stable, happy relationships of my choice.
  24. I have a right to my own personal space and time.  You are not at other people’s beck and call if you do not want to be.
  25. There is no need to smile when I cry.
  26. It is okay to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.
  27. I have a right to be flexible and to be comfortable doing so.
  28. I have a right to change and grow, and that possibility is indeed real.
  29. I have a right to be open to improve communication skills so that I might be understood.
  30. I have a right to make friends and to be comfortable around people.
  31. I have a right to a non-abusive environment.  The hallmark of mental health is the intolerance of being abused, not the other way around.
  32. I can be healthier than those around me.  A person does not have to match their feelings to another person and be miserable just because they hurt.
  33. I can take care of myself no matter what.
  34. I have a right to grieve over actual or threatened losses.
  35. I have a right to trust others who earn my trust, not for those who do not.
  36. I have a right to trust myself and forgive myself.
  37. I have a right to give and receive unconditional love.  This does not mean the parent, but equal adult love that has no petty conditions.

It is possible to heal, achieve individuation and stop the cycle of abuse.  These rules can help you do that.

By Jef Gazley – See more at: http://echorecovery.blogspot.de/search/label/Healing%20from%20a%20Narcissistic%20Mother#sthash.Pj1nQMvO.dpuf

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